Day 8 (Part 2 of 2)

Well, the day was another success! Everything I had been wanting for many years now. Its now about 7pm and I still feel awake, alert and a comfortable level of energy, well its not energy but more of a relaxed feeling. Just what I imagine most people feel around this time of day, just sitting back watching some TV or sitting here on my computer blogging about how happy I am now that I found relief from anxiety with a racing mind that would never STFU! Hunger kicked in about an hour ago and beleive it or not I am thirsty at the moment, thirst has not been a feeling I have had since starting Adderall. I do remind myself often throughout the day to drink water or any fluid besides alcoholic drinks. I am down in weight from my lack of appetite and not eating out of boredom is a great bonus with this medicine. Over the years I would actually have 10,000 calorie days occasionally, that would include 2000 calories of beer and the rest just eating the tastiest yet most unhealthy foods for the remainder calories. I am still enjoying food just am not doing it all day long. Last night I had 5 or 6 slices of sausage topped pizza and 12 hot wings and a sandwich for lunch. For snacking during the day I have been eating carrot sticks or raw broccoli with light dill dip and it satisfies me since I am not really hungry but have to make sure to eat for health purposes. I also enjoy snacking on lightly salted mixed nuts or crackers. My usual snacks would be small meals to most peoples standards.

 I layed down around 6pm to rest but started feeling like I could fall asleep so I got up and revived naturally without any caffeine drinks and am a comfortable state in mind and body for this time of day, as stated above. I can't beleive how much I have gotten done over this past week, its more than I would accomplish in like 3 weeks! And I do everything at a easy pace but steady until I acheive what I feel is sufficient. I am not obsessing over tasks like I would normally do, if I want to stop I will but my mind wants me to finish most tasks unless its overwhelming. I now have self control over many things that took control of me, I am changing and all for the better. I am not impulsive as I was before Adderall and if something seems to be happening too fast I have the ability to slow down or stop without anxiety kicking in. You must remember I have an anxiety disorder which I take 100mgs.of Zoloft for along with panic disorder which I havent had in a while and am weaning off Klonopin at a slow pace with no adverse reactions.  Very slowly I am gonna build myself into a "normal" productive, calm and happy person on minimal medication. Staying on the lowest possible dose of adderall should keep any addiction problems away along with the knowledge of avoiding abuse or taking more Adderall than is necessary. From this experiment I quickly found out more than is needed makes for an uncomfortable day, I get no pleasure or euphoria as non-prescribed users who snort or take it just to get high acheive. For me its just a medicine that creates a mindset that most people have naturally but I am gifted and have ADD. LOL 

Time for me to eat dinner and then watch some TV shows that I enjoy and when I get too sleepy I will go to bed. Just reading what I just wrote sounds funny to me, just so "normal" and routine for most people yet so wonderful for me thats its getting close to where I will say "a dream come true"!!!!!!! Tomorrow will be done just as last couple days and hopefully with same amazing results. Now if I can get 1 comment that someone, anyone, is actually reading this would be great but even if nobody actually reads it I can someday look back at where I started and how horrible my life was.